Hi Robyn
It sounds as though you're going through a bit of an awakening period so I would recommend you cut back as much as possible of you worldly responsibilities and spend a great deal of time researching a spiritual perspective which suits you. The more time you spend in natural surroundings the better.
YOu can think of your spiritual perspective as your foundations for living.
You could begin by immersing yourself in
Personal Development for Smart People - Steve Pavlina then you will start to become more inspired.
It may be hard to get started but you can search around in the dark for something which grabs your interest but also matches your highest ideals.
Good luck!