Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie  I'm not a girl, but..
One thing that occurs to me, is a guy should not change or mold his character, in order to fit what pleases, a (typical) woman. He should live his life, and be the person he wants to be, for himself; not to make anyone else happy.
A woman can sense when a man is adapting himself to her. To fit in with her needs and wants. If she senses him changing to fit her, she'll rightly conclude that he lacks integrity and inner strength. She's more likely to want a man who has his act together, and has internal strength, knows himself, knows his own mind, and cannot be manipulated.
So, really, I'd say the whole precept of this thread is flawed.
Don't be the kind of man that you think women will want, be the kind of man, that YOU, will feel proud to be. Women can then, either take you or leave you, that's up to them. |
Exactly. Women want a man with high social value, which equates to a man with high self-esteem, which is revealed not so much by his appearance, but by his behavior. A man with high self-esteem doesn't need approval from anybody, he is in control of his own world and his own sense of purpose. But it's not in a "screw you, man, I don't care what you think cuz you suck anyhow!!" sense, but in a "hey, if you don't like me, that's completely fine. I love you just the same." sense.
Furthermore, he seeks
not to raise his own self-esteem further -- he doesn't need any more! -- but to lift that of those around him. He's not arrogant; rather, he's so convinced of his own value, that he has no need to show it to others. Indeed, he might conceal it so that those around him don't feel lesser by comparison. He's so incredibly strong inside that he can let his weaknesses show, bare, without fear of losing respect or value in another's eyes. He can cry, in public, without feeling self-conscious.
His friends love him, and he loves them back double-fold. Heck, anyone he meets loves him because he makes people feel better about themselves. He makes people happy not because he needs them to like him, but because he genuinely wants them to be happy. His motivation is not one of neediness, but rather love. He raises their self-esteem without a trace of concern for his own, because in terms of self-esteem, he is wealthy beyond belief.
I'm convinced that if you can be this man, you will have not only more women, INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL women, than you know what to do with, but you will have more great friends, more success in life, however you yourself might define that, and more happiness than you ever thought possible.
And, frankly, if you can be that man, you deserve it.
Re-reading that, it sounds like I'm channeling Jesus or Buddha or something! 
How ironic is it that this pseudo-religious philosophy of Love Everybody stems directly from the atheistic realization that THIS ONE LIFE is all you get, that there is no eternal bliss waiting after you die, so you'd better make the best of it and help others do the same.