Hi, I understand that calculus is a big hurdle for many students of science/engineering...
But if instead of fearing it you spend time learning the patterns and attempting problems you will certainly get results. It's a fact that most theoretical science of the past 300 years has been done using calculus.
Here are a couple of links which are the best teach-yourself resources I know of:
Pauls Online Math Notes - Paul's onine math notes
mathematics support for Mathematics & Statistics students - mathcentre
Best of luck!