 What Am I To Do?
My girlfriend of 16 months is leaving in a week to the west coast. She's Hindu, well at least her parents are, and they don't know about us (sort of). She's been living under her controlling, emotionally abusive parents for 19 years, and on many occasions she's told me she wants to leave. She is really dependant, and at this age, it's pretty sad. I've been pushing for her to stay here, on her own will, against her parent's wishes, so she can learn how to be independant. A part of her wants to, but the other part doesn't want to leave because of the fear of losing her family. She's confused, and for the past few weeks, there would be a period of a few days where she would be set on staying, and then she'd change her mind just like that after talking to her dad about it (who yells and resorts to some slapping). It hurts me to see her live in the fear they've instilled in her - her every move or decision is attached by her thought of their approval and how they would react to it. It's not healthy, but I understand it's how they've programmed her for all these years. What am I to do? She said she'd be willing to stand up to her dad if I initiate some sort of argument. But she doesn't understand that I want her to do this on her own, for her well being. If she doesn't and I'm there to assist her, she'll just treat me as a parent and be dependant on me, because I was the one responsible. Should I? Or should I let her go and let her come back to me when she decides to act on her own?  |