What happens when someone asks you what your religion is?
Do you feel like you are lying when you answer?
When you are researching things on the internet do you need to be ready to hide it incase someone sees it and thinks you are non-christian?
(I actually don't know that it means to really 'be' conservative christian, I'm just throwing up related questions to how I used to be)
When you are talking to your friends, do you have to change your sentences and not say what you think because you don't want them to know you?
You say that you plan on telling everyone, but the way you talk about your sister (and consequently your parents) sounds like you never want to tell them. It sounds like you are only considering the impact on them (who should also be responsible for trying to understand their family members), you should also consider the impact on you (the positive benefits).
Do you have anyone you can talk to face to face without hiding/omitting details and really honestly say anything to? If you do I would strongly recommend you spend some time talking to them and notice how different you feel when you are being honest about yourself compared to pretending.
I'm sorry to hear the response of your sister, that must have really hurt. It is wonderful to see you care so much about her. If she cares as much about you as you do about her then I would guess she would understand after awhile (even if she flips out to start with).
Clearly I don't understand religious families. They would make you move out because you said you were no longer christian? They would refuse to give you an education because you're not christian? It seems like you love your family, do you think they are going to hate you if you are always positive, loving and caring to them?
I don't have answers to these questions.
Just had an idea, you don't have to use it. Maybe you should request to go see a christian counselor yourself. I don't know your reasons for becoming non-christian but I assume you have thought it through and decided it was the best option for you. If part of your reason is that christianity doesn't seem right to you or doesn't make sense then talking to someone to try and understand more about the religion sounds like an honest action. I'm assuming the role of a counselor is to help people understand christianity.
Do you want to wait till you are in a christian college before telling people you are not christian?
Finally my advice is not from a christian or any religious family background so I have experience with telling that to people. As I said in my story, I only have experience going through the fear of telling family stuff they are not going to like. It sounds like this action is going to be the hardest thing you have done in your life. I know it was the hardest thing I've done.
But you are not me, you are you and you have to decide on your own how you want to live your life. That is your call not mine.
I wish you good luck and remind you that whoever you are, you can still love and cherish your family.
PS: I'm not saying you have to do any of this tomorrow, you still have to pick your time. But pick your time based on when you think it is best, not whenever you think your fear is gone. Because the fear will always try really hard to convince you that you are not ready. |