Sometimes when a soul is deeply changing spiritually, making transition to a kind of re-birth on another level of consciousness, there seems to be a gateway at the threshold of which are a lot of tough things. I do not know exactly why this is so, but I have experienced similar, though not precisely the same.
In many cultures, candidates for Initiation (That is, a new beginning in a different mode of consciousness) suffer trials and sometimes visions of terror, darkness, and fears. It seems that whatever the candidate does, they cannot win, and will be crushed. They believe they will be. Yet they are not, and emerge from the darkness renewed and strong. What is important is holding on to the spiritual, and heartfelt things one holds most dear while all these trials are happening. It's always darkest before the dawn.
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