Here's a true story.....When I was 18, I met a guy the first week of college. He was cocky and funny. We verbally sparred with each other and it was exciting. It was not physical at all. I wanted to be with him much more than I was. We went out a few times and it was as if we were always in a fight or something. He truly was uncomfortable with me and I suppose I was a bit uptight as well. But we had a distinct connection and we both knew it. Time passed. School ended. We stayed in touch. Six years from that first meeting, our relationship/friendship began again when we were both living in NYC. With some difficulty, it went where it was always intending to be..a full, beyond-platonic connection. We will married 25 years this fall. We have raised two children, one in college and the other one about to begin college. I have always felt that our meeting and subsequent commitment to each other was meant to be. We Needed to get lost from each other, only to find each other again when we were ready. If my experience can be helpful in a way, it would be just this....Having a mental connection with another person, which is stimulating, is where it naturally starts. The other stuff I think is our false expectations which come from the culture we are a part of. If you can turn off the expectations, and just experience every personal connection fully
without judgement, let it take you where it will. And pay attention to how you feel. I guess I don't have magic words. Corny as it sounds, Ann Landers (the advice columnist from yesteryear) has defined love as "friendship that catches on fire".
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