This is just a strange story, and Im feeling quite sad about the whole thing.
but I guess its over, sharing it here might help me understand.
Since I broke up with my ex, half a year ago, Ive been focused on what I want. jornaling, meditating, imaging etc
Ive dated several guys, but I didnt feel I clicked with any of them, even though they were all into me but I decided not to waste time with anyone unless it feels "right"
Ill add here that I spoke to Erin months back and she saw that my man will come from the US (which is a 12 hour flight away from where I live), and that his finances will be in order and that hell appreciate me and be emotionally mature etc.
A year ago someone wrote to me on myspace where I have some of my artwork, that he loves my work. I reply thanks if your ever in my town let me know, well have coffee.
So a few weeks ago this myspace guy, calls and we meet. hes from New York and hes here now for business but has an apartment here too.
its a blind date completely.
He comes out of the car hes short, and with a limp, not particularly handsome and not my type. but we chat and I feel connected to this guy, he makes me laugh so much, hes been around the world alot like me, creative, and seems very well off finacially, into spirituality...
Hes 38 Im 34.
I tell my friends I met this guy and I just feel like being with him all day.
so meet 3 more times, We laugh, talk and kiss all night (no sex), its amazing.
Ive never felt like this so connected to someone. Not my ex or anyone. but something is strange, hes just too mysterious, he shows me his work on his laptop, but still the puzzle isnt complete...then after 4 dates he tells me he has to go back to NY for a few days.
I dont hear from him in 12 days, and mentally delete him. I was sad, but I think maybe I was just fantisizing. its painful but I move on.
Then, after almost 2 weeks of silence he calls. I dont want to see him but he begs. so I say ok. He gives me a whole 20 min monolog that hes never felt like this about anyone in his life, he feels connected, like Im his soulmate, he feels love etc. I tell him I felt the same but why did he dissapear?? no call email or sms??
well, he tells me theres a small problem: a wife and 5 kids
and they live here for the past year.
I say I can handle the kids but a wife?? he says he separated, that he always wanted to make the family work but he just doesnt love her.
he's away for weeks sometmes (he travels a lot for work too)
I tell him, well I want to get married and have kids and I cant be with him.
he says that now that hes met me he might divorce her...
anyway I dont really buy it but the next day we meet again. again this amazing connection we cant stop touching, fantisizing, talking. but I realise Im getting attached, that Im really falling for this guy.
this morning we spoke and he said he wants to do it right, to close these issues in his life first and only then we be together, I agree, and I tell him that he needs to do this alone, and until then we must lose contact, dont call me anymore.
He said that he just knows that in the end we'll be together.
but now a few hours later, Im landing back to reality. Im letting go, I'm not that naive.
life is strange- and Im wondering why did I just attract this?