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Originally Posted by cylon  I don't know. I used to believe there was someone uniquely just for me out there |
Gotcha.
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Originally Posted by cylon but in my own neediness, I ended up putting too much importance on each individual girl, because she is OBVIOUSLY the "one". (she wasn't). |
The only time I did come across a guy I really thought to be my twin soul, admittedly same thing happened to me. I was about as laid back about the whole thing as Anakin Skywalker about Padme. Only happened once but it turned me from a happy, content-with-life girl into a crying bundle of misery within like three months. At the end of it I didn't want this guy anymore nor ever anything like it, but just a good time with nice guys who didn't go sooo much under my skin. That's what I did get as well, and I can't say that it was all that bad.
Yet during those three months when my focus was on being with this supposed twin soul it was like I was doing a speed course in self-development. I ran into inner roadblocks aka deep fears of which I hadn't even been aware till then, so I wasn't having a good time but, hell, was I burning through baggage. And my guts tell me that where fears are to be faced like the proverbial dragons guarding the treasure, that's where the real goodies are waiting.
Let's face it, a good time is a good time, but if life is about spiritual development, how will one ever learn to swim if one only stays in the shallow?
And if you say you prefer relationships with no strings attached (and believe me, I understand that preference) cause there's a feel of abundance to that, if I look at myself, is that true all the way? Or is it more like well, this doesn't go deep enough to trigger any fears, and that's why I feel good and relaxed about it? What is acting from real inner abundance and what is acting out of inner resistance in disguise?
The way I feel about getting together with any The One in particular right now is that if there really is a twin soul of mine or something like that somewhere out there, we'll eventually get together someday anyway, in this life or some other, so there's no need for me to sweat it. And just like with everything else I'll be doing my lessons in spiritual development till then until I've learned what I need to learn.
