In a way yes... I'm looking deeper... I'm trying to show you a different way to react to these situations. I'm trying to show you how to stay in control of your world.
Consider that when we feel wronged we feel powerless and out of control. So we resort to wanting to blame others for our pain. It's a natural response, because it's the easiest. If you believe that she is the villain, then you can be angry at her. And the anger will make you feel strong and powerful. It will put you back in control. Look inside yourself. Experience the anger. See that you actually do feel better. But if you are honest with yourself you will soon realize that this control is an illusion. And as the anger subsides - the pain comes back. I know that this is a hard lesson, but if you want to be free of this once and for all you have to understand. Even if you were the model boyfriend and she was an evil backstabbing sl*t, hating her for it shows that she is in control of your life and not you. Anger is another way of saying that you are weak.
So instead I'm trying to offer you another way. Accept that people hurt other people jjm. No one is perfect. Not even you. That doesn't mean we're all "bad" people. We all make mistakes. It's the most natural thing for us. Perhaps even more natural than breathing (since there are people who say we don't breathe well). Once you realize this, you will begin to develop compassion for yourself and others. You will stop being a victim and instead become a teacher. And next time someone tries to hurt you will be able to say "I will not be treated this way. I honor your right to be the way you are, but not with me." And you will start to see that guilt is nothing more than a feedback mechanism that tells you that you didn't like the outcome of your actions. That you did something that went against your values and beliefs. Once you understand this - letting go of guilt becomes easy. All you have to do is learn your lesson and know that next time you'll do better. Often you can even correct your mistake. Which is why I suggested you talk to the roommate. It will help you see that guilt doesn't have to stick around.
Last edited by igmistro; 06-17-2008 at 11:53 PM.