[FreelanceWanderer]

Some of you may remember that I started a thread months ago about beginning the adoption process. My husband and I are close to 40 and financially secure with good freelance jobs. We also love kids but the idea of having our own never struck us until recently. We had always thought that if we ever did decide to have kids, we would adopt.

Well, we put a hold on the adoption process when I started having panic attacks that lasted all day, every day, for five months. But now that my doc has finally found a combo of meds that has kept me panic attack-free for the last 6 weeks, we're starting up the adoption process again.

My opinion on whether to have kids changes on a minute-by-minute basis -- no joke. I get a warm fuzzy feeling and start decorating the nursery in my mind, and then 30 seconds later I read about someone who volunteered in Africa for 6 months and think, "I'll never get to do something like that once we have a kid." Thirty seconds after THAT, I'll think, "If we never have kids we'll regret it when we're 60 and all our friends are bragging about their grandkids."

A friend told me that once you feel 80% ready to have kids, you're ready -- because you will ever be 100% ready. Another told me that when you get to the point where you can't stop thinking about it, you're ready.

I don't understand how people can get married and then have kids, so natural and easy. It seems it's a given for most people and they don't go through this soul-searching. The decision for us has been so tough. My husband has been supportive and is willing to go either way.

We are restarting the adoption process -- I just need a note from my doc who treated me for the panic saying that I'm fit. I just wish I could feel secure in our decision!

What do you think? How do you know when you're ready?

Thanks,

FW