Love yourself enough to make fewer commitments. Only agree or offer to do something you know you really want to do. If you want to, you could experiment with making no commitments to other people. Perhaps a 30-Day No Commitment Trial?
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hayden  Is it possible that I am addicted to feeling bad about myself, and forgetting to follow though on my promises is a subconscious routine that I run because I know I can make myself feel really bad about it?
Well, if it is an addiction, then the first step to recovery is recognizing the addiction and admitting it is there. |
A couple thoughts on addiction:
If it is an addiction, are you addicted to feeling bad about yourself, or are you addicted to pleasing people in the moment you agree to do something?
A friend and I discussed addiction a couple days ago. She's been working toward understanding addiction lately and had some useful insights. I started by saying that I think we get addicted to things—substances, behaviors, games, emotions, the internet, etc—because we have an unmet need. The addiction tries to fill that need and whets our appetite, but does not fill it. She responded with this: What's underneath the need? At the core, addiction is about not having self respect; it's about not loving and respecting yourself enough to meet the need in a whole, healthy, healing way.
Be more gentle with yourself. Break the pattern that you use to make yourself feel bad. Find a more loving way to motivate yourself to grow and change.