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Captain Cloudchaser · 06-17-2008, 11:56 AM

Thank you for the replies guys, I really appreciate it. As I said, it's been something on my mind for a long time. I felt the same way with my first boyfriend, and splitting up with him was one of the hardest things I ever did because it hurt him so much.

Angela, I do love him, but maybe in a sibling/best friend kind of way. I don't actually believe in monogamous relationships anymore, the changes I've gone through have affected a lot of my opinions and beliefs and I don't think I want to be tied down to just one person in a traditional kind of relationship. But I'm not sure if this means something deeper than me being uncommitted and immature myself. It feels like I love many people in different ways, which is okay, but then I start to imagine what it would be like to date certain people and I find myself just wanting to experience more; and I can't if I'm already in a relationship, obviously!

I mentioned that I'm going to university next September. I've thought about living in student halls on my own for a year to see how I feel after that; whether I like being on my own or if it is enough for me. Perhaps if I had more independence in the relationship I might not feel so stifled sometimes. He's been very supportive of me over the years, so to feel this way just makes me feel incredibly guilty.

impaul99, I don't look for reasons as to why we're a bad match or not. The thing that bothers me when I talk about compatibility is that he never seems willing to talk about things, he gets impatient with me, like he needs to explain every thing whereas I just want to understand. It feels like he knows what is right and I should just listen to him; I want to make up my own mind and make my own mistakes when it comes to stuff like that. Maybe he's just not good at expressing himself. I've emailed him about it before, how I kinda want us to work together as a team, rather than conflict and have opposing views all the time, but he never responded back, he just kept forgetting. Maybe I should nudge him again.

I'm also not sure if he is aware of how I feel. Maybe he is very aware and that's why there seems to be so much distance between us. We do things, we have a laugh; but it's the kind of relationship I could have with a friend or brother, not with a husband or lover. Perhaps I should explain that too, because he doesn't seem to notice or see anything wrong with it?

Thanks again for your support!

06-17-2008, 11:56 AM	#6 (permalink)
Captain Cloudchaser Junior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: UK Posts: 29	Thank you for the replies guys, I really appreciate it. As I said, it's been something on my mind for a long time. I felt the same way with my first boyfriend, and splitting up with him was one of the hardest things I ever did because it hurt him so much. Angela, I do love him, but maybe in a sibling/best friend kind of way. I don't actually believe in monogamous relationships anymore, the changes I've gone through have affected a lot of my opinions and beliefs and I don't think I want to be tied down to just one person in a traditional kind of relationship. But I'm not sure if this means something deeper than me being uncommitted and immature myself. It feels like I love many people in different ways, which is okay, but then I start to imagine what it would be like to date certain people and I find myself just wanting to experience more; and I can't if I'm already in a relationship, obviously! I mentioned that I'm going to university next September. I've thought about living in student halls on my own for a year to see how I feel after that; whether I like being on my own or if it is enough for me. Perhaps if I had more independence in the relationship I might not feel so stifled sometimes. He's been very supportive of me over the years, so to feel this way just makes me feel incredibly guilty. impaul99, I don't look for reasons as to why we're a bad match or not. The thing that bothers me when I talk about compatibility is that he never seems willing to talk about things, he gets impatient with me, like he needs to explain every thing whereas I just want to understand. It feels like he knows what is right and I should just listen to him; I want to make up my own mind and make my own mistakes when it comes to stuff like that. Maybe he's just not good at expressing himself. I've emailed him about it before, how I kinda want us to work together as a team, rather than conflict and have opposing views all the time, but he never responded back, he just kept forgetting. Maybe I should nudge him again. I'm also not sure if he is aware of how I feel. Maybe he is very aware and that's why there seems to be so much distance between us. We do things, we have a laugh; but it's the kind of relationship I could have with a friend or brother, not with a husband or lover. Perhaps I should explain that too, because he doesn't seem to notice or see anything wrong with it? Thanks again for your support!