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Originally Posted by garentee  I have been in an emotional affair recently. I am friends with this couple, and there has been an attraction between myself and my friends wife. It came to a head the other night when we were alone after a party and went to bid farewell to each other with a hug... the hug was really really sweet and at that point she realized we had to talk. What came out was that she really wants to be with me but she is married. I have been in love with her for a while but not really realized it. She confessed that it has been about one year that she has been in love with me. Ultimately though we decided that much as we want to we cannot at this point proceed any further with this. Three people will get hurt if we proceed. and none of us will be able to have any relationship with one another. If they do end up divorcing it has to be on the accord of conversation between them and not have anything to do with me. It is a little late for that, but knowing this I cannot continue. It really saddens me that I cannot hang around with her on my own any more... BUT It is far better to do this and allow life to unfold on its own. I want the best for her... if that means that she and her husband patch things up I am better than ok with that. If she breaks it off with him and goes in a different direction it is still fine with me. That is what love is. She has said the same for me. .
The point is that any affair can be damaging. the point at which you start to have any type of affair can be noted as a very sensitive part of a relationship. If it continues then you are living a lie. A little honesty at the begining of any relationship goes a long way to solving these types of problems. If you want to be with someone else tell your spouse. SOmetimes a little of openness goes a long way. If you sneak around and try to hold affairs behind your spouses back how can they trust you again?
to be honest I do not really see my friends marriage as one that will survive. She is doing a lot of Personal development and I am pretty sure he is not. I love them both very much, but that will not save something that is terminal. I hope they can work it out... but I am not very certain that it will be. thanks for reading. G |
What will you do if she does leave her husband and wants to match up with you? How would you deal with the ex as a "friend" when you run into him at some point?
Just curious...