[wolfgang]

great quesitons - I'll try my take, not that I really know.

Originally Posted by Rockchick26

So i started this self esteem workbook. Its all about discovering what you are good at,why you are unique,expressing your interests and your personality,and finding things about yourself that you are proud of.

Does this feeling good about yourself form an identity? Is it something that if you lost it, there would be grief?

Then i read Tolle's books which basically say not to identify with any of these things because they are not you. Your hobbies are not you,your interests are not you,they are all thoughts and ideas that we should not identify with. Its all the ego. There is no "self".

Or there is a sense of self that is humble and reverent. Or the sense of self includes other people in some way that what you feel about your regular self is part of everybody as well. An expanding sense of self would be like playing in a band that looks for the group as being good, instead of one individual star in the group (maybe something like that)

So how can one have good self esteem when there is no self at all? How can you express your individuality,celebrate your uniqueness,and love yourself when we are all one,we are all the same,and there is no self,really? If things about me dont make me who i am,then where is my identity? Sure my name is Shelly and i like music but,music isnt me,and i am not REALLY Shelly,so...how can one build self esteem when you arent supposed to identify with what makes you YOU?

I wonder, if one can be in the state of no self, that the issue of having self esteem is not really there any more. If one has transcended individual self, there is no need to work on self esteem. I would think someone like that would naturally be feeling good and is happy about life in general. That self esteem maybe a by product of letting go of needing the self to be a certain way and perform a certain thing or be good at such and such. Ironically. Being humble maybe the best approach to self esteem.

If you boil away all the things that make a person who they are,what would make us unique? Then we'd be just like animals,only mating with whatever animal you run across next cuz theyre all just the same anyway! I like people for what makes them different than others,so if you take that away,you wouldnt like anyone cuz they'd all be the same!

I suppose this is just my ego fighting for survival,but these are the very things that my self esteem book is trying to get you to build upon. So.. i dont know what to think now.

I'm not sure that individuality goes out the window if you do the Tolle thing and not defend your individuality form. It's the attachment to form that is the difficulty. If one can have a form that isn't fixed and clinging to what it is or was or should be - then the form will actually be more beautiful than the version that is stuck in trying to be perfect.