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Originally Posted by cylon  After being through something like this myself, I see it's all just neediness and low self-esteem. There are so many people on this planet that there are likely thousands and thousands of great matches for all of us out there. "But it HAS to be them. HAS TO BE THEM!!!!" They are just freaking human beings. They are not perfect. It does not have to be just them. |
I was thinking about that just today. From a certain point of view I'd say you're right on target, and since the Universe isn't really into appearances but into essence of experiences, you live far easier if you focus on the essence, the qualities you look for, and I do know from PE that you can even literally make a profile down to a first name and get your dream guy served on a silver plater.
Just, the only thing I learned from that is that this isn't what I want. I don't want a list of fabulous qualities embodied in one guy, I still want The One and I don't really care what he's like in detail. There's this deeply rooted belief in me and always has been -and since that's so I have the most difficult time to shake it off- that there's a guy out there the source choose for me to be with for the greatest benefit of both of us, and to get together is part of what my soul set out to do in this life.
I know for certain I can be as happy with about any decent and compatible guy out there as I can be happy without him, and I know I can even make a profile and have a dream guy delivered to my door and be happy like a pig in a mud puddle for a while or ever after, and to do so feels shallow and empty.
It's difficult to explain, but what I desire is a truth and love that doesn't start and end with me, but that was created straight from source, something originally from God. I'd even be happy if being with this guy'd be a challenge instead of mud puddle bliss, as long as I'd believe that this was a match "made in heaven" for the greatest benefit of the two of us, not just a choice made by two kindergarten souls deciding to get together and have a jolly good time.
So this whole discussion about whether there's The One out there or not, it's like I can see why there isn't really if you're simply looking for happiness, and still I can't wrap my mind around the assumption that there's really not anyone out there chosen for me to be with. It actually feels a bit like being told that my soul came here with no purpose at all. Don't get me wrong, life would still be great if that were so, it's just, it doesn't feel right somehow. So part of me still does understand as well if there are people out there looking for The One.