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Originally Posted by m4xx  Angela, I think taking 100% responsibility is just as wrong as taking 0%.
If you have 100% responsibility for how you feel and how happy you are, would there ever be a reason to tell someone "thank you!" for what they did for you?
Could you ever say "I am so happy about you being there" without lying?
cause nothing a person does would make you happy, since you are creating it all by your own!
Or why ever say "I am sorry!" to someone, if you didn't *make* them feel anything, since they created it all on their own?
I want to have a positive effect on people I interact with. I want to be useful 
and I partially want to take responsibility for the people I love. (which means they couldn't take 100% of it ) |
I totally agree. If I'm 100% responsible for my own happiness, what are other people for? I'd hate to live in a world where we all take 100% responsibility for our own happiness. I like making others happy. I like it when they try to make me happy. There's no mystery left if it's all up to me and, you are very correct that nothing anyone else does matters because you do it all yourself. IMO, that's arrogance.
I choose to live in a world where others and what they do matter to me. That means investing myself in relationships and, sometimes being hurt or disappointed. And then there's what you deny others when you take control. Believe it or not, they enjoy making us happy. Why would you deny that to others?
My dad gave us kids the greatest gift before he died. As he needed more and more help from us, he, graciously, accepted help. He always made you feel like what you did was exactly enough. Just pefect. What a boost that was. If I had taken 100% respontibility for my own happiness, I would have denied him the giving of that gift and never felt the happiness it conveyed. What a wonderful way to exit this life and tell your kids you love them and appreciate them. I'm glad I can rely on others to boost my happiness even if it means I sometimes am made sad by them too.
My dad, like so many seniors do, could have chosen to become bitter and angry over his growing dependence. But he didn't. And THAT made a difference. A HUGE difference. I am not responsible for that. He was. I'm just glad I was part of it.
Love takes risks. Taking 100% responsiblity for my happiness is 0% risk taking. What you miss is of far greater value than what you gain.
I totally agree about saying things like "I'm sorry" or "I'm glad you're here". How could you say either and mean them if you take 100% responsibility for your own happiness. Having been on the recieving end of those words, I can tell you first hand they have meaning beause what others in our lives do does matter. Anyone who thinks it doesn't is kidding themselves.
I don't care to live that way. I'll take the chance and ride the roller coaster.