Hey,
If you're ever near Syracuse and want someone to listen to, play with, relax with, be at peace with, please send me a PM and feel free to visit.
I have been there before as well, you will honestly - once eventually, your suffering will subside, and you will look at the past as completely insubstantial to what you are experiencing now.
Please, for now, just take it one moment at a time. You may feel a mind complexicated problem - that the world is just not worth living in, take a moment and step back from your understanding of the world. How do you do that? By allowing yourself to be, without harmful judgment, simply listen to yourself without judging, no matter how atrocious the feelings you may feel are, you are able to deal with them only if you're present and although it may be extremely difficult to not be taken for by the thoughts, the emotions, the turbulence - it is okay.
You are okay.
Be a third-person observer on your human form. Ultimately, you are vaster even if right now you may not be able to feel this truth. Steve, Eckhart and many spiritual contemporaries have written on the subject. I highly recommend "The Power of Now," "A New Earth."
If you wish to have a copy mailed to you, simply PM me your address.
Some online recommendations are Gibran's, "The Prophet"
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