[Dannyboy1]

Originally Posted by tonality

I am glad to have found this forum, it may be the one place where these thoughts are considered with some respect.

I have felt for a few years now like my internal monologue, which has been my primary method of reasoning (and I would have considered myself very rational, maybe too much so), I feel like my internal monologue is broadcast for anyone to hear. The most obvious times are with birds--my neighbors have some and it is 100% clear from their responses that they do hear my thoughts, and it's obvious to me that people are also recieving this. I recently moved to a city where it seems like everyone picks up on this and chastises me for it. Not only this, but in addition to the normal covert hypnosis techniques people use here, my loud internal monologue gives people a control over me.

I have only become aware of other people's telepathic communication on two occasions as far as I know. The first time was strange even by paranormal standards--my neighbors birds broadcast a clumsy "**** you" (the F sounds much different to bird ears) as I was drifting into sleep. The second time was last night. I have basically confirmed that others hear this voice of mine, and made the effort to quiet it, and heard a loud and irritated 'what the **** is that' from my next door neighbor, referencing my previous inability to silence it. Both of these events shocked me back into my full waking conciousness, complete with my persistent inner voice. Could I be using it as a defense mechanism against hearing others? I do often imagine what I would say to people, not only in general but also in the situation right in front of me--could this be because I instinctually know they hear it, and although I wouldn't dare say these things out loud I want to communicate it? I don't want to communicate these things though, and I feel that others' hearing me plan my speech before I say it is an invasion of privacy!

This is all new and a little scary and still somewhat doubtful to me. Does everyone hear my voice, or only some? Are people communicating to me without my knowledge, thereby making their thoughts seem as my own? I was doing math homework last night and repeating the letter P in the formula, and one Q, except when I looked over what I had written and what the problem stated, there were no Qs only Ps, and I believe the Q was planted by my roommate who was irritated at my constant chatter. Obviously, this is just the tip of the iceberg of possibilities that this open channel of communication can bring. How can I control it and use it to serve myself? Am I really just schizo?

Any advice or wisdom would mean a lot. Thanks.

I know this because I used to be pissed at the world. I could walk into a room and everyone would read into it. Now, even when I'm happy I'm pretty easy to read on a bunch of stuff. You can tell because my skin reacts with subtle and not-so-subtle color changes. I don't even realize it, but people tell me all the time. Whatever you really think hard about usually shows outwardly in some way. Very few people can mask it, actually. It does seem like magic sometimes, I'll give ya that.