Quote:
Originally Posted by Alarin  The main thing I would suggest is simply knowing that you are valuable and projecting that when you meet new people; hold your head high, make direct eye contact, show in your personal appearance that you respect who you are, talk in positives and definately don't talk yourself down in front of others or to yourself.
I think if you can begin to look inside yourself for self esteem you will have much more success with being happy, and you'll increase the respect you have for yourself. Be kind and patient with yourself, write down a list of your good qualities no matter how small you may think some of them are (like "I make great pancakes"), stick them up somewhere you'll see them everyday, you must learn to like and respect yourself before others will do the same.
For the depression I highly recommend checking out this thread which is a pretty in depth discussion of how to treat depression with and without drugs. Also have a chat with a doctor if you haven't already about alternative treatments and support groups, depression is a horrible horrible thing to have to go through (and I know first hand) but I can promise you there are ways to minimize it's impact in your life, and people out there who care about you and are more than happy to help you. This thread is a good example, none of us has even met you and yet we care about you and want to help you because we know life can be better for you, I'm sure many of us have even gone through some of what you're going through right now and we can promise you that with help and time things do get better. |
That thread doesn't offer anything that I haven't tried already or would be able to try. I mean how the hell am I going to exercise? I tried for 2 weeks then gave up. I'm either on this chair or in my bed 99% of the time.
I'm not valuable.
I regularly prank call the samaritans, they're ************ing useless and mostly 60+ years old. You can tell them that you want to have sex with your dog or you think you might be trisexual and they'll still say the same old stuff. How do you feel about that? Can you tell me more about that?
Useless. Its easy to reduce them to tears by telling them how worthless and lonely they must be to volunteer for such a ridiculous phone in.
I've already been through about 4 counsellors, and none of them have been able to help. Posting on this forum was a stupid idea since the same replies are coming but I doubt ill act on them.
Quote:
|
I think it depends entirely on what kinds of people you want to be friends with, going back to the chameleon thing again. What kind of hair cuts do most of the boys in your area or that you'd like to hang out with have? What kind of clothes do they wear? Does your appearance make it easy to break the ice with them or does it just make your life harder? I mean personal style and all that is great but it does come at a cost, being different always comes at a cost, and in your case that cost may be isolation which I don't think is a good thing.
|
I don't know, seeing as I haven't left my house or talked to anyone (with the exception of my shrink) in about 2 years.
Quote:
Again I think this goes back to the appearance and self-respect issues, it sounds like these people are acting disinterested because they're not sure how to take you, they can't "fit" you into one of their mental models of what people are supposed to be like. Normally I'd advise against succumbing to peer pressure and trying to blend-in, but in your case it may be exactly what you need, these issues may in part be created simply because you look different to most people around you and you don't fit that mental model they're all subconsciously searching for.
No it's not your fault, but that doesn't mean you can't create the solution. But also realise that local friends aren't the be-all-and-end-all, you can make lots of friends online and a balance of both is probably a good thing. What's your main interest or the thing(s) you're really good at? I may know of some forums or sites where you could find other people interested in that thing and I can post the links here.
|
I can't get along with relatives, old people, young people, teenagers, middle aged people, cashiers, store workers, anyone. Its not that I don't fit into a specific group, I don't fit into ANY group.