If you say
"Children shouldn't starve" then yes you are arguing with our current reality
however if you say:
"Children are starving" then you have accepted the reality - and then you can ask "so how will I help?"
or for example
"I shouldn't have lost my job." is disempowering to someone because it keeps them locked in an internal argument of how unfair their previous employer/ situation was
"I have lost my job" is a statement that accepts the situation is it is. "What will I do next?" is the following empowering question.
"I mustn't get things wrong." limiting
"I sometimes get things wrong." accepting and allows for growth. (You're not learning if you don't make mistakes).
"He should be nice to me all the time." vs
"He's not always as nice to me as I'd like, however I choose to behave to him in a respectful way regardless of his moods"
|