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LMVector · 06-10-2008, 03:46 PM

Hello. I've decided I need to get this out in writing, and then maybe I can get to the root of things, alone or with anyone's help if people are willing to offer any.

The past 6 months have been very significant to me. I decided it was time to put some changes in place. My two main goals to start with were to lose weight and to raise my grade average. The term is coming to an end and my grade has come up considerably, and I've lost 10kg so I'm pleased with the results. However, as I'm fighting the last battle for just now (last few exams, two weeks of school, 4kg to go to my target weight) I feel pretty crap. I will admit, the past months haven't been a smooth ride- I've had my fair share of screw ups regarding eating and studying and a few minor breakdowns- but I've come out from them all and kept on progressing. For the past couple of days I've felt depressed, tired, lazy, unable to go out running (something which I normally enjoy), craving sugary foods in large quantities etc. Today however, I woke up really down, felt down all day for apparently no reason, broke down crying a few times, I have no appetite and my stomach hurts.

I don't know where I'm heading with everything. I just feel disorientated and I have no idea why, because I'm doing well and I have a great summer to look forward to. I still have that belief that I'm going to get through this alright, but I just keep asking myself why? Why do I HAVE to get out of this alright? Why do I HAVE to do anything? Or better said, why do I WANT to do anything? Where is this all going for me?

Thought vomit over, I think.

06-10-2008, 03:46 PM	#1 (permalink)
LMVector Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Valencia, Spain Posts: 39	I need to let this out. Hello. I've decided I need to get this out in writing, and then maybe I can get to the root of things, alone or with anyone's help if people are willing to offer any. The past 6 months have been very significant to me. I decided it was time to put some changes in place. My two main goals to start with were to lose weight and to raise my grade average. The term is coming to an end and my grade has come up considerably, and I've lost 10kg so I'm pleased with the results. However, as I'm fighting the last battle for just now (last few exams, two weeks of school, 4kg to go to my target weight) I feel pretty crap. I will admit, the past months haven't been a smooth ride- I've had my fair share of screw ups regarding eating and studying and a few minor breakdowns- but I've come out from them all and kept on progressing. For the past couple of days I've felt depressed, tired, lazy, unable to go out running (something which I normally enjoy), craving sugary foods in large quantities etc. Today however, I woke up really down, felt down all day for apparently no reason, broke down crying a few times, I have no appetite and my stomach hurts. I don't know where I'm heading with everything. I just feel disorientated and I have no idea why, because I'm doing well and I have a great summer to look forward to. I still have that belief that I'm going to get through this alright, but I just keep asking myself why? Why do I HAVE to get out of this alright? Why do I HAVE to do anything? Or better said, why do I WANT to do anything? Where is this all going for me? Thought vomit over, I think. __________________ *"The very substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream"* -Guildenstern in Shakespeare's Hamlet.