At first I thought the question was "what constitutes losing?" but after reading the clarification I see it is really "how do you process the input from losing?"
I don't think it is necessary or helpful to feel bad about losing. The only time you should ever even think about it is when you are doing something where that information is relevant to the present moment.
So let's take Scrabble for example (since I like Scrabble). You challenge a word and it turns out that it is a real word and you lose the game. Well, it is only a game, no need to get upset, really no need to even think about that game for a while. So next time you are playing Scrabble, you see that you have the letters for that word. Now you can use the knowledge you gained from your "failure".
Or, say you really like Scrabble so you set an intention to become a better Scrabble player. After you lose, you realize that one thing that would make you better would be to memorize all the 2-letter words in the Scrabble dictionary. So you set a goal to do this. But there is still no need to be upset or to even think about it except for when you are studying. And even then you would not be thinking about losing but about studying.
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~Lauxa~
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