I think relationships become a dance between independence/personal responsibility and intimacy/interdependence, between quietly taking responsibility for your own feelings and trying to present your best side to your partner and respectfully treating them well even when you aren't naturally inclined, and having a partner see/know all of you and be able to be totally comfortable and honest and to take chances depending on each other... you need a lot of trust and respect and personal responsibility as well as affection and communication to be able to go with the natural flow of the relationship instead of trying to manipulate each other.
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