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Originally Posted by Angela  I get what you mean. And unfortunately, all the *shoulds* in the world are nothing but an attempt to control the world -- to argue with reality. And when you argue with reality, you lose! 
Telling someone to do something, or telling that that "if you want to be in my life you shouldn't try to control me", isn't very effective at getting what you want, in my experience. The "My way or the Highway" approach is a good way to blind yourself to what it is you really want -- in this case, that might be freedom, love, support, trust -- things like that.
In my experience, telling people what to do, or *shoulding* them, just doesn't work in generating freedom, love, support, or trust. It's great, though, for generating being right, being separate, being constrained, and being resentful. To each his own!
P.S. Telling your parents not to worry about you, the whole idea makes me laugh!  You might as well tell a tiger to be a vegetarian. |
Never a should in life, merely suggestions.
"whether they are laughing at you or laughing with you, at least they are smiling" happy to put a smile on someones face
The "my way or the highway" as you call it, isn't great for being friends with everyone, only friends with high self esteem, intelligent, have something going on for them, open heart, sense of humor and so on will be the ones who you won't even need to tell them these things because they already do it.
Unfortunately for a lot of people, a lot of parents don't fall under that category. Some are great people and some are not. Just because they are family doesnt mean they will be nice people who know how to treat other people right.
When you keep people around in your life that aren't so great for you it causes you to feel drained, disrespected, walked over, lower self esteem, heart closing which means less love, acceptance etc, think Napoleon Hill and mastermind group.
Hanging around with people who try to control, hurt, disrespect and demean you will prevent great, amazing people who will love you just as you are from coming into your life.
I'm not trying to control the world, only myself. The world will be what it is and I am definitely not for everyone and everyone is definitely not for me. I seek out people who are too busy enjoying their life to nag people about watching TV or sleeping late.