I feel like a new person. For the last week I have been able to almost completely cut out irritation/resentment/anger from my life. And it's not because I haven't had external challenges! But the challenges seem so much easier when I don't resist, allow myself to move through whatever emotions are generated, and come back to peace. In addition, my relationship with my daughter is transforming, and she seems better able to move through her anger as well.
My husband and I haven't spent much time together lately and I was surprised yesterday when he walked into the room and my whole energy level changed. Anger and resentment immediately flooded me, and he hadn't even said anything! I was surprised because I had never noticed this before, but I just allowed the resentment to be what it was, disidentified with it, and allowed it to dissipate. This morning during our interactions, he was using a tone that usually pushes my buttons and upsets me. But today I have been able (mostly) to stay present, to notice the emotions as they arise, and allow them to dissipate quickly. Okay, I did notice a certain harshness in my tone at one point, but normally we would have ended up in a fight over nothing, just a clash of negative energies, and that did not happen. I feel certain that my newfound inner peace will transform our relationship.
I feel like I have arrived, like I finally "get it", and it's the most amazing feeling. I think that just posting here and making a public commitment to deal with my anger and resentment made a big difference. And Tolle's book helped too, for sure.
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~Lauxa~
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