Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Chui  You don't seem to buy into the idea that people change and grow at different rates. It isn't about different values; it's about different interests.
People who have "moved further" generally have their interests change. If their friends don't change interests with them, then eventually, they may have no more common ground. At that point, there is no reason for the friendship to last.
Friendship is temporary. Just like life. We're all going to die, and all friendships will end, even if it takes death to sever it. Being able to accept that ends can and will come is important. Placing too much value on a "lasting friendship" before it has happened is foolish; focus on having a quality friendship, no matter how short.
A lasting friendship is not worthwhile if that great new person you met gets shot the next day. If the friendship was worthwhile, though, then there is something to cherish. No one should look back on their life and says, "Well, I lived for 700 years, but I got absolutely nothing done." The same goes for friendship.
Length is a nice-to-have, not a goal. |
Agreed with lots of your comments.
My problem seems to be that this thread seems to advocate...
"Oh, my interests have changed. Therefore I should to get new friends and completely forget about my old friends."
It appears to downplay the value of friendship, as nothing more than people we flicker through to share ourselves with, but ultimately the focus is on us. Someone mentioned here that there an increasing breaking up rate prevelent in teenagers. This could partly be due to two beliefs
a) I'm deserve good, twisted to I deserve better than you...
b) It's easier to find someone else than to work out the relationship.
Not to mention... what is this idea of having common interests? Family members can stick together despite being completely different due to these abstract ideas of family bonds, history and such. Perhaps I'm old but I feel there is value in time, as time usually implies trust for me.
Back to the original point.
It's feels dismissive of the idea that strong mutual friendships can be dependent on the other person's existance, regardless of their activities and such. But I guess the common interest in such scenario can be thought of as care.