Quote:
Originally Posted by Alison Jenkins  Blazer you are being dragged into an issue that is not really yours to deal with. Your mother needs to confide in someone who is not her child. Maybe your parents are playing games with each other, as many adults do. Your father may be trying to stir up jealousy over something that your mother may have done. You will never really know.
Your father seems to be drinking regularly and it sounds as though you are concerned about this. Does he know about Alcoholics Anonymous? There is also a support group called Al Anon for the family of alcoholics. They would help both you and your mother to live with the effects of your father's drinking, including the issue that you are facing now
Alison |
The reason why I said I have been fcked up by domestics is because I have always been the emotional pillow for both my mum and dad. I have had to deal with their ♥♥♥♥ all my childhood - hearing about how my mother isn't up to par, how my father is guided by anger, about how my mother is stupid, about how my father is irrational.
You know, instead of growing up chasing girls and making friends in the playground, I was constantly thinking about my parents splitting up because they have not talked for so long (silent treatment is hell for a kid) .. I have had to worry about domestic violence etc ...
I was a submissive son because I figured angering my dad would only make him take it out on my mum ... so I studied, neglected social life, and became the 'ideal son' ... until i got into drugs and alcohol.
And because of this past ... I have never been in a relationship with a girl, I am terrified of girls ... so as much as I want to help them, I know I should not have to (you are right) ... but in the end, I will help them - because it is a standard which I have inadvertently set.
So given this history, I just need advice on how to tackle this problem .... its my duty in a way.
Outside help is no good (we are an ethnic family in a western world, they are different).