Quote:
Originally Posted by curlgurl610  it seems like everyone goes through a situation with a best friend at least once in their lifetime...
i've had a best friend since 1st grade and now we're seniors and drifting apart. i kinda know why this is happening - yet it still hurts so much. ive changed and she's stayed the same therefore a lot of the things she does - things i used to do, i don't approve of so thats a huge problem in our relationship.
i started accepting the fact that things are never going to be the same between us. we might remain friends but we'll never be the same kind of friends that we were a year ago.
g'luck with ur talk... |
This is exactly what I'm going through.
I was with my best friend from grade 7 to grade 11. 4 years isn't long compared to the 10+ years most of you have had with yours but I must say it felt as long as that. Most of us grow up in high school -- it's where our personalities start developing. My best friend and I grew up with each other. Our lifestyles were the same. We did everything together. Everything. Even our mothers became good friends. But the thing is, I used to be the passive one, listening to her rant, cry, tell great stories, and giving her my full support. I nurtured and she entertained. She was dependent while I was independent. She was extroverted and I was introverted. Our mantra was "opposites attract" while we still held the same values in life.
It was just all so wonderful... until I started asserting myself. Stopped being so shy. I realised how restricting the best friend relationship was. It stunted me. I refrained from socialising with other people, spending all my time with my best friend, which didn't help my introversion. People instinctively leave best-friends alone as they do with couples. Her possessiveness didn't make it any better. And as I started pulling myself away, it just got worst as she grew more and more insecure. The more she wanted me back, the more I didn't want to. It's just like the whole 'play hard to get' idea but not in terms of flirtation, if you know what I mean.
Like you curlgurl, I also stopped being so passive and accepting. I didn't approve of anything she did anymore and I told her. I was the negative one but I couldn't help it. I actually felt hatred. She was in the way and I needed to grow.
Now we don't talk to each other anymore and she's in a completely different friendship group. I've discovered so many new friends as well and it's working well. But looking back at our friendship, the time we with each other... it's still really sad and painful. I guess that's they way things have to be.