 forgiveness
Forgiveness is a decision and usually the first person who needs to be the beneficiary of my forgiveness is myself.
I also lost a parent at an early age. I was able to let go of the unresolved emotions projected outwardly on others when I accepted the pain and sadness of the loss to that baby and forgave myself.
There were so many things I needed to forgive myself for and quit holding onto the beliefs which caused me pain. In reality most of these were baseless except in my own tortured mind. My torture ended when I stopped endlessly thinking about "my" trauma and moved on to another phase of life. Unlearning the untruths in my life set me free.
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