Quote:
Originally Posted by Carl Rogers  Hello Alex,
I just ran across your thread and have read much of what others have said. My conclusion is that you are a relationship addict (I am saying this without judgement). I am a Master's level counseling student, and from what I learned in my adddiction class, you are meeting the definition of an addicted person. There are three characteristics that are needed for a behavior--smoking, drinking, gambling, relationships, etc.--to be an addiction: 1) harm is caused to self, 2) apparent lack of control, and 3) engage in behavior to improve mood or feelings. I think that you might want to consider seeing a counselor who can help you further explore your feelings, past history with relationships, actions, and anything else that is bothering you. A counselor, unlike internet blogs, won't give you advice but will help you explore yourself, your strengths, your resources, and so on.
Peace,
Carl Rogers  |
...."Engage in behavior to improve mood or feelings."
What is wrong with engaging in a behavior to improve your mood or feelings.
There is a wide range of behaviors that can accomplish this task and I would consider them all healthy: going out with friends, going to a gym, cleaning up your diet, talking to a counsellor or therapist, reading advice from a personal development website, believing in yourself and improving your self-esteem, etc.
Carl, maybe you meant to say more about point #3, possibly a specific kind of behavior that is largely negative and self-defeating. In general people should do things & engage in behaviors/processes that improve their mood & feelings especially when someone is depressed or hurt. Those people that actually can get out from underneath the rock they've found themselves pinned under and learn to take care of themselves and improve themselves and feel better about their life are doing a good thing.
When you get a chance, maybe you can go into further detail on point #3, I love hearing from people who study human nature and have a background in it.
thx...rob