So basically, I flunked out, right? Got too scared of it all and ran away. I do feel it is all waiting for me to be 100% ready perhaps? There was nothing to prepare me for all this. I came from a 'normal' down-to-earth background, where people ridiculed the Unseen. Maybe it was conditioning got in the way? Don't know. But the heavy strain of that training was really scaring me and pulling me apart. That's what it felt like. It felt so dark at times I wondered if there was some Black Magic going on, that I'd been drawn into co-operating with. In some ways I became so very strong. In some ways I thought it would really kill me. But I couldn't understand because even though all that darkness was being thrown at me (I'd never experienced anything like this before) her love was always there as well. It freaked me out. |