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DoAnyOfYouExist · 12-04-2006, 03:50 PM

Subtle, I am with you 100% I have done alot of drugs. Marijuana, mushrooms, mescaline, ecstasy, nitrous, salvia, etc. I was looking for answers...looking for "the truth" Now I see the signs ALL around me. Everything and everyone is sending me the same message. In my trip I saw that everything I experience is a manifestation of past thoughts, actions, interactions. There is no seperation between me and "my point of view" The field of view which is my reality. It is all me. When I did salvia it was like I was begining to zoom out...to see the real picture...to see that this is just some game or entity that makes up a much larger me...I believe it is my duty to save this world and create some kind of paradise...only then can I allow myself to awaken(complete and fixed). Where I have struggled is do the people in my life exist when I cannot see them? Do they really go out and do the things they say etc. This subjective reality really fits in with what I have been going through. By the way I have fallen back into the same trip where i realize everything that exists, exists in my plain of view everything begins connecting and then I begin to zoom out...feel like I am waking up from a dream into something and someone...but what, another dream? I do not want to wake up I am full of fear and not ready so I study buddhism and I also find this page and everything clicks...EVERYTHING, songs...things people say to me...It is VERY obvious I am creating all of this but to what extent? IS ANYONE OUT THERE?! I have fallen back into this awakening(ego death) about 15 times and everytime I pull myself back for fear of the unknown. I have a feeling by 2012 I will have no choice but to awaken and it is just a matter of how much can I fix before there. This life is a game idea really sits with me. I used to really be into games but now I can't stand them. Salvia changed me and I can see how the experience is continuing to change my reality. I am all over the place I know but wow what a trip life is.

12-04-2006, 03:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
DoAnyOfYouExist Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 255	Salvia unlocked a door I can never close again Subtle, I am with you 100% I have done alot of drugs. Marijuana, mushrooms, mescaline, ecstasy, nitrous, salvia, etc. I was looking for answers...looking for "the truth" Now I see the signs ALL around me. Everything and everyone is sending me the same message. In my trip I saw that everything I experience is a manifestation of past thoughts, actions, interactions. There is no seperation between me and "my point of view" The field of view which is my reality. It is all me. When I did salvia it was like I was begining to zoom out...to see the real picture...to see that this is just some game or entity that makes up a much larger me...I believe it is my duty to save this world and create some kind of paradise...only then can I allow myself to awaken(complete and fixed). Where I have struggled is do the people in my life exist when I cannot see them? Do they really go out and do the things they say etc. This subjective reality really fits in with what I have been going through. By the way I have fallen back into the same trip where i realize everything that exists, exists in my plain of view everything begins connecting and then I begin to zoom out...feel like I am waking up from a dream into something and someone...but what, another dream? I do not want to wake up I am full of fear and not ready so I study buddhism and I also find this page and everything clicks...EVERYTHING, songs...things people say to me...It is VERY obvious I am creating all of this but to what extent? IS ANYONE OUT THERE?! I have fallen back into this awakening(ego death) about 15 times and everytime I pull myself back for fear of the unknown. I have a feeling by 2012 I will have no choice but to awaken and it is just a matter of how much can I fix before there. This life is a game idea really sits with me. I used to really be into games but now I can't stand them. Salvia changed me and I can see how the experience is continuing to change my reality. I am all over the place I know but wow what a trip life is.