Originally Posted by yossarian
I certainly see the truth that confident masculine men have women pursue them. This makes lots of sense. But perhaps not all men were meant to have loads of women pursue them? Perhaps some men were just meant to find joy that is independent of circumstance?
The paradox of the PUA community is that they constantly exclaim how "if you try, you fail" and yet the whole community exists because people are desperately trying. Someone like me who doesn't strive to attain but rather strives for genuine unconditional love also "fails" or at least it appears so.
Perhaps striving is actually what achieves results? Certainly most accomplishments in the world were born of a genuine effort. And most guys consider women to be an accomplishment, whereas I really don't. I don't look at other humans and see objects to be used for pleasure, or as prizes, or as fulfillment mechanisms.
Women are not an accomplishment.
If you make your main "mission" to find what you are passionate about, to pursue that, to develop yourself mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually, THAT is an accomplishment. (Women usually come along at this point. Just works that way. The more you want them the less they are there, the more you are distracted by your life the more women want to be with you. There's a lesson in that.)
A TRUE sense of your manhood is to face these fears, these questions you have, to look at them and face them. None of this crap of "a man feels no fear". That's BS. A man feels fear and overcomes it. I'm on that road myself, and it is not an easy one. I stumble and fall like crazy. But I know where I'm going. I'm not going back to the passive state where "oh well, that's just how it is" is going to work for me.
The PUA stuff..... is helpful for some. There's a lot of overlap between PUA and personal development. But it's mostly style over substance. I think you've confused PUA with "that's how you gotta be to get the chicks" and it's not like that.
But, I would say to you, completely 100% absolutely forget about women right now.
Find out what you want in life and go after it. Investigate this "new part of you". Drop the confusion/guilt/shame/taboo-ness in regards to masculinity you may have.
I've given you some things I hope you will find helpful at some point.