Yossarian, go with your gut. If you feel you want to have more masculine energy in your life, pursue that. Only you know what works for you. Women, in my experience, and in the experience of men I know, do not generally find themselves attracted to effeminate men. Affection, friendship, sure. But not genuine attraction.
Just like it may be rare for you to be attracted to a woman who is more masculine, has manly mannerisms and speech, etc.
Of course, if you are more feminine and passive, and find a woman who is more masculine and will lead you, then you may have a fit.
Often times people will say "just be yourself!" but realize it's learning to be your BEST self is what matters. If "yourself" is doubting, unsure, insecure, then being "yourself" is not much benefit. Only you know where you are in regards to that.
Embrace the part of you that is spiritual, that cares for others, and embrace the part of you that wants to howl at the moon and raise hell.
Unify yourself.
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