View Single Post
Old 05-19-2008, 12:18 AM   #19 (permalink)
standgale
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 15
standgale is on a distinguished road
Default

I thought about writing something for this, or at least for myself to put on my blog, but I cannot come up with any characteristics that apply solely to women, or that apply to all women but not all men. Although there may be some general differences between men and women as groups, it's not possible to distinguish between what might be social or biological traits, and there aren't any traits that apply to all of one gender.
Any ideas I come up with are merely my ideas on what is the ideal human, with no gender constraint or bias.
Thus, I think the "how to be a <man/woman" idea is flawed, and exclusive.
Reading some of the top picks for how to be a woman just makes me feel excluded, lonely and different. Like there's all these "women" out there being one way, identifying with this, and that's not me, despite being a woman and never having any problem with that until I read something about what that apparently "means" and then feeling like I'm some kind of different person with no "group" to fit into.

Possible misinterpretations addressed:
If the idea is partly that these are ideals one is supposed to aspire to, I have no desire to aspire to them.
If the descriptions are not supposed to apply to all women, then the titles and language is misleading.

I still think we're all the same

I wonder how many people in the general population actually do feel that there are specific male and female differences, and how many really feel that there either these groupings don't exist or that they don't fit into them? Although there are some comments about this on this forum, it's not exactly a large or representative sample.

Edit: although I did say "reading SOME of the top picks" and thus did not say I objected to all of and every piece of writing, I thought I'd mention that parts of some I find quite acceptable or good, but don't see anything particularly "womanly" about them.
One perspective to take on the traits/advice that apply to everyone is that although all people might need to live up to the same standards, etc, due to the society we live in, the pressures on each gender are different and thus each gender is living in a slightly different "world" to the other; and so the advice to live successfully and well would need to be slightly different, tailored to the current societal position of the gender. eg. if women are being pushed into more submissive roles in their lives, they might need advice about not allowing that to happen, whereas, on average, men might not require this advice and would be better off working on other areas of development.

Last edited by standgale; 05-19-2008 at 12:26 AM.
standgale is offline   Reply With Quote