Originally Posted by cylon
About your work friend, I don't know the circumstances. Either you have problems being assertive or he's got issues. DO you have problems being assertive?
I have no shame, and I don't lie. People will abuse me and the best way I can describe my reaction is simply as non-reaction. Would this be considered a problem with assertiveness? I don't really care to tell people off or to verbally fight with them, in fact I can't think of a single instance where I lashed out in response to being attacked. I have lashed out when the TRUTH was attacked, or when someone ELSE was attacked however. Like in the past when someone would deny a blatent scientific fact I might get angry, or when society would abuse the helpless rejects. Sometimes I would get angry and lash out at these things. Sometimes at extreme unfairness and especially inconsistency I've gotten very angry. But not that I can think of where it was a matter of "personal honor" or "assertiveness" or whatever.
If I were to say something mean and hurt someone, and I could see that they were hurt and I could have stopped that from happening, then I would feel bad.
But when it comes to people attacking my character, my honest reaction is to yawn. This is not politically expedient and is apparently strange behavior. I can't tell you why I am the way I am, but I've just always been like this from my very first memory. I don't fight back, I'm a pacifist. I don't get hurt when someone attacks, at worst I'll feel bad for the person attacking me because I see how unhappy they are and sometimes how my non-reaction provokes them and I wish I could find a way to cheer them up (but after years of trying I know I can't, so now I just be myself almost all the time)
Well anyway that's my story, it would be great if you had some awesome insight for me, but I'm not holding my breath, no offense
It does occur to me that I don't know what the purpose of masculinity is. For instance I feel like I know the Divine Mother Goddess well, I feel like I have access to her immediately. But I can't feel a Father God and don't know what to look for. I hear people talk about it so much that I do feel like I'm missing out on something - but I guess the deaf man doesn't miss the sound of music. If you talk to me about the Divine Mother I'm psyched right up and I follow along the whole way, but start talking about God the Father and I get lost... which one is that again? I don't feel him...