[placebo]

I've had a similiar problem 3 years ago. I was basketball player, good one, and after high school i had to decide what to do. Will i try to be a proffessional or go to college. In my country there's no college sports on level i wanted to play.

And playing was my dream since i'm aware of myself, since i was a little kid. Many people told me, including my parents and friends that i have to be realistic, one injury can stop me from playing basketball. And without college people live hard here. It was too big pressure for 18 years old boy, so i decided to follow their dream, to be realistic in their reality, not my.

And now, three years later i think it was the biggest mistake in my life. So many sleepless nights just because i didn't know what to dream. I had to change my dreams.
Everything could be different now, only if i had right attitude and faith in my self and my potential. But i didn't. 12 years of hard work simply gone with the wind.

Don't do my mistake, belive in yourself, change attitude if necessary. People will probably think that you are a different Michelle, that they don't know you anymore. Who cares, in the end only you know your reasons. And yes it looks like it is too hard sometimes but remember it is your dream and your reallity.