Steve - Thank you for your attention to this subject, which is given too little heed in our culture. Your post is beautiful.
But - I must ask you - have you read The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida lately? A few other posters mentioned this ... and I mention it because seven of your points read nearly verbatim from the book. The first time I read your post I was a bit shocked that your points are so similar to the book. Please clarify this, because I'm feeling a bit cheated by you ... I'd like to know that this is your original work versus a summary of some of the points in a great book.
In reading over my prior paragraph, it sounds accusatory. I have no intention of accusation, just clarity. I respect you enough to ask for credit where credit is due, and if you tell me that the post came of your own consideration, my respect for you will only grow.