[Rose of Cairo]

Originally Posted by Apollia

but, that would amount to falling victim to "Lightworker Syndrome" and ruining my own life in the process of trying to help others.

Of course nobody is obligated to post anything in any thread here. I'm also not saying we should all quit our job, use our savings to buy a plane ticket and go save Chado - I'm just talking about those of us who already post in his threads anyway. If I already take a few minutes to post, I can choose what I'll write, right? And if I see that one strategy is not working, over months, I can consider trying a new one. That's what I meant with "trying everything in our power", nothing more.

Anyhow, as long as Chado's feelings aren't hurt by it, I see nothing inherently wrong with "tough love".

I don't mind hurting his feelings. What makes us grow is not necessarily what feels most comfortable.

Plus, how can we tell him to take responsibility for his own life, and simultaneously try to avoid hurting his feelings - thus taking responsibility for him? That's none of our business. How he chooses to feel about it is his decision.

Originally Posted by Logodae

Rose: I don't think you realize how depression affects people.

Logodae, as I've already said in various places, I've been severely depressed in the past, and it took me several years to get out of it. So, yes, I do realize how depression affects people. I remember it very well! I can understand Chado, and I know how it is. I know it's difficult. But I also know from my own experience that only HE can do something about it. And he doesn't.

So how do we want to respond to that? Buying into his helplessness obviously doesn't help him out of it. I'm not saying that every depressed person deserves their butt kicked. Remember that in this case it's been going like this for many months now.

Imagine if every time Chado started a new thead, everybody just told him to go do some jogging? Now that would really change something. Like it's now, I feel that we are enabling a situation that's not helpful for him. His relationship with the forum kinda reminds me of co-dependency.

Maybe I'm thinking this way because I don't see the forums as a bunch of disparate people, but as some kind of body with a consciousness and memory.

Also, when you're depressed, it's very difficult to feel good about yourself. So "love" and "affection" tends not to have much effect.

Exactly my point!

Now, Chad seems like a pretty resilient sort, and he seems to have emerged unscathed from previous attempts at "tough love" here on the forums...

Yup. Not only did he emerge unscathed, he even got energized. I could feel some of his true spirit shine through. I could see Chad the Fighter for a short moment and was very happy about it I really do care about Chad. I don't mind him hating me to death if it helps him shake his helplessness. Anger is better than apathy.

but in general, I really think you should reconsider your approach.

What are you afraid of exactly?