[bluestar]

Years ago I had my first out-of body experience. I didn't even believe in anything like that. It just came out of the blue, one night. All the whistling noises, vibrations, odd sounds scared me. I thought I was dying. As I went out there was a gentle voice, a beautiful female voice who said I shouldn't be scared, she could help me if I wanted. After this happened a few times, I said yes, i wanted her to help me. She told me I needed training to strengthen me in this new dimension I kept going into. (I know I did. I was like a leaf in the wind out there. I had no understanding of what to do, or how to handle things.) I trusted her, only because I could feel her soul-qualities, not because of any other reason. Those energies were gentle and beautiful. At first we did exercises (many things which strengthened me; too many things to write here.) I felt there were so many things to learn, but I was doing well. She said there were some powerful forces in this new world I would have to be able to withstand.
Then suddenly everything turned very dark. I was being asked to send out positive energy in order to transmute very dark energies indeed. To 'lift' them. I worked very hard. Often the kindness returned, but the dark always did, too. And I was going deeper and deeper into work that was almost too much for me to 'lift'.
I felt her kindness and love, but over a period of time other really confusing things happened, involving a man (in the everyday world ) who I loved, and who was connected with all of this. (Another tale entirely) And in the end I broke everything away from her, because I couldn't understand why I was being asked to do such superhuman stuff, and go through so many pain-barriers all of the time. I was really cruel and hard to her, and shut off.
Her love,like a sad ghost, followed me for a while, then drifted away.
Now I do not have out of body things happen any more. I rarely remember many dreams like I used to. Just sometimes, there seems to be a distant 'call' from her, it seems tinged with poignancy and a kind of sadness. Then it's gone. And I don't encourage it, or send back anything. I just get on with everyday life. But it's like part of my soul is missing. I really do not know if I did the right thing, but I couldn't understand all the pressure on me. I don't know who she is, or what her purpose was.