Hi Chado. I've got lots of unpayable debt too - credit card debt which grows every month at the rate of probably around $300 per month (and that rate is ever-worsening) from late fees, overlimit fees, and interest. At this point, the minimum payments my credit card companies are asking for are so high I'd never be able to get caught up even if I wanted to (which I don't, since I don't want to pay those legalized criminals one more cent).
This all used to depress and infuriate me tremendously, but, it doesn't bother me as much anymore ever since I stopped the hopeless struggle to pay those crooks, and because I've grown more appreciative that thanks to my family, the consequences of this aren't as bad as they could have been. I'm not about to end up homeless because of it, and, if my bank account gets levied, no problem, I'll just never use that bank account again. And, if I get a wage garnishment put on me, fine, it's a good reason to never get a regular job with a boss.
I have little independence because I have no money, and I don't think I even have the resources to go bankrupt, but at least I'm not forced to choose between slaving at a job or starving/going homeless/etc. So, all in all, while my situation is far from what I desire, and sometimes I feel similar to the way you do, at least it's not all bad.
It sounds like your situation might be similar in some ways - are you living with family? In that case, hopefully even if your finances to go to heck you're at least not in danger of homelessness. You might be in a better situation than you realize. At least you have internet access, and it doesn't sound like you're worried about ending up homeless or where your next meal is coming from.
How much free time do you have? It's a precious resource, many people don't have very much of it, so if you have a significant amount, I hope you realize there are many people who would probably tremendously envy that aspect of your situation. Free time is useful for so many things, you can use it for anything you please - studying new things, learning new skills, creating a website, figuring out how to make money somehow, and tons of other possibilities.
On the down side, it can also leave you with lots of uninterrupted time in which to brood over your problems, and feel bored and aimless, and sink ever-deeper into an emotional rut. This is something which happens to me less often if I have some regularly-scheduled distractions, even if it's just a favorite TV show. Sometimes I have to make an actual effort to stop myself from wallowing in misery and get myself focused on something more useful than thinking about all the ways in which my life is a mess and making myself feel miserable and hopeless. It's very important for me to try to keep myself in a good mood so I stay motivated enough to do things to improve my situation, and so all the free time I have doesn't go to waste.
It is definitely rather frustrating that nothing I can do at this moment will instantaneously fix my situation the way I want it to be - all the possible solutions available to me are going to take time, and they're uncertain to boot. But, unless a miracle happens, I guess the only solution is just to press on and try not to let it get me down - keep on developing my skills, and maybe one day I'll be capable of earning myself some decent money someday. Or maybe I could figure out how to better monetize my existing website, or figure out how to better capitalize on my existing skills.
I hate even having to think about money (as well as having to try to stomach paying income taxes - if not for taxes I'd probably be a lot more enthusiastic about trying to make money, but I just can't _stand_ being stolen from). But, I guess it's just an unavoidable part of the life of anyone who wasn't born rich, i.e., the majority of people. Well, unless one is willing to go out into the wilderness like Survivorman, or something. But most people are in the same boat of having to struggle and slave to scrape by.
Anyhow, I wish I could help out more. If I were rich your debt problems would be over. Someday I hope I do end up rich, because I'd love to just give money away to people who need it, and thereby also prevent unscrupulous credit card companies and other loan sharks from profiting anymore from people's misfortune and from ruining our society by luring people into the indentured servitude of debt.
Giving money away seems to me like it would be the most direct solution to quite a few people's depression (since many people's depression is simply a consequence of lack of money), but, unfortunately, most people (including me) aren't in a position to do that despite wanting to.
So, I guess all I can provide at this time are things I can afford to give for free, like my thoughts.
Here are some articles which have helped me:
Most People Are Depressed For a Very Good Reason Overcoming Depression by Steve Pavlina
How to Operate Your Brain Perfectly by Nick Pagan (a file in PDF format)
I find that I feel much better emotionally if I keep myself busy and focused on some interesting activity (especially if it's possibly going to be of practical benefit in the future), and avoid frittering my time and energy away on things that are unlikely to benefit me in the long run.
Without being too hard on myself and depriving myself of doing anything at all fun, of course - that's another thing I have to be careful not to do. I like Steve's idea of making work time scarce and leisure time abundant, so then you'll automatically feel eager to work in the limited time you have available to you to work:
Overcoming Procrastination. I've procrastinated about really putting those tips into practice, though - I have such an unstructured, unscheduled life, it would probably actually be much better for me if I made some more rules for myself and my time. But, I think it will probably work if I ever start doing it.
Another thing that cheers me up and is very satisfying for me is to have a website. The thought of being able to influence and hopefully improve the world despite having hardly any money is comforting to me, and theoretically I ought to be able to make much more money from my website than I have been. I've gotten $34.50 in PayPal donations in nearly two years of asking for them, which is at least better than $0.
I also never know when someone might come along and decide to just send me a few thousand dollars or something (or maybe 10,000 people will spontaneously decide to each send me $1
), so, even though I know it's unlikely, and it has never happened yet, the thought at least gives me hope.
I also figure the more useful and interesting stuff I put up on my website, the more likely it is that I'll get more donations, so, I always have some project or other to work on - which is helpful in keeping me from feeling as if I have nothing at all worthwhile to work on, and keeping my mind off my problems.
Anyhow, I don't know if any of this will help, but, I hope things improve for you soon!
Best wishes,
Apollia