Mati,
I know exactly how you feel. For years, I was taught to do things that didn't fit my personality. I was so uncomfortable, I had a tought time doing what I was taught. Even when I did them, they almost never worked. I wrote a blog about this a couple of months ago. It's at:
Steve DeVane: MLM - it's a relationship business
Stick with it. The network marketing profession can be a strong personal development vehicle. I know it's been that way for me.
Best wishes for success.