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Just because you have different values for your relationships than someone who would do such a thing, doesn't mean that this person isn't motivated by wanting to have a good relationship.
The father who honor kills his daughter is motivated by his ideal to be a good father.
If he didn't that high ideal of being a good father the chances for him to honor kill would be lower.
If you think that it is about the feeling of avoiding shame it has nothing to do with the ideals that Steve in the thread.
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So is it the ideal about realtionships or relationships? Valuing an ideal about relationships still values an ideal over the relationship.
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In general I wouldn't tell a person who looks to harm another where the person he wants to harm is regardles of whether the person he wants to harm is my wife or a stranger.
It would be my value to protect my wife that motivates that action but the value of preventing harm.
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In the last sentence did you leave a word out? Use of the word "but" suggests you meant "It would *not* be my value to protect my wife" etc.
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Okay, the following scenario-- A guy in the military and on the battlefield hanging with his buddies. Someone throws a live grenade your way- he dives on the grenade, to protect his buddies. In the military, at least according to my dad, it is the sense of loyalty to your buddies that causes you to do this, this would seem like a valuing relationship issue. What's your take?