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Originally Posted by metamorph  Dannyboy, I did read your post and thank you for your ideas. But I do think from reading your posts that your situation is quite different. My parents are not "abusive" or derogatory to me in their comments. In the examples I gave in earlier posts in this thread, I did sometimes not react and just let my mother talk. But don't think this stopped her for long  |
What I'm saying is the best way to make someone think about what they're saying to you is to not speak when they act ignorant or press your triggers. People tend not to listen to you when you tell them something. What they hear are the ways they can counter or debate you. But if you obviously pull out of a conversation suddenly, they'll wonder why and they'll start to reason themselves about what they said.
"Why did he stop talking? What did I say that could have... What did he think I said? What did I say and how could it have been misconstrued? Am I wrong? Let me see... what exactly did I say?"
Pulling out of a conversation is a brilliant way to take the wind out of someone's sails, avoid an arguement, and get them to think more deeply about what they said because you have removed their ability to focus on what you're saying. You didn't say anything, so they have nothing to argue with. Yet they know you disagreed exactly when they said something, so they start to focus on themselves. What I'm saying is,
don't preach to them. Make them figure it out themselves.