Hello chado, I am new to this forum but from I have read in your posts you are obviously clinically depressed.I too have delt with this "demon" as I like to call it, for almost my entire life. I have tried EVERYTHING short of the electric shock therapy. At this point what I have concluded is this is like the life of a recovering alcoholic, we have to take it day by day hour by hour. I just try to focus on the day today, and I tell myself "today I will make it thru" literally I do this whenever I feel like I just dont want to live and even plan a way out by suicide. You cannot just shake this off all you can do is learn to cope with this afliction as best as you can. I am highly functional at times and at others barely
alive...so thats when the living starts to go just minute by minute. People cannot help you with sympathy because this is your 'demon" so you MUST learn how to live with it. Medication is not the cure but rather a tool help you cope. I find that distraction by way of whatever slightly intrests you can help in those very dark moments. I do not know your family situation but even they may not understand. I live with my professional mask on everyday and function somewhat well then when that feeling kicks in I start the living minute by minute process. I hope you realize you are not alone many of us live among others and know exactly what you deal with daily....I try also to not dwell on the dark side...when that starts direct your thought to another one of a better quality, I know you are thinking "yeah right" but it works. TRAIN YOUR BRAIN, YOU NEED TO USE IT FOR YOUR GOOD DO NOT LET IT USE YOU! your brain is a tool. Please realize that these dark moments pass. I am sorry for such a long post but I felt compelled to reply and just give you my experience. Irish63
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