[Brutha]

However, it is motivated to uphold the principle of being an honorable man

But he has different values about what it means to be a good man than Steve wrote about in his blog post

by maintaining an honorable family, which means controlling their behavior.

Exactly. Steve says a man shouldn't focus on his famaly with is a part of his relationships but about greater things.
Just because you have different values for your relationships than someone who would do such a thing, doesn't mean that this person isn't motivated by wanting to have a good relationship.
The father who honor kills his daughter is motivated by his ideal to be a good father.
If he didn't that high ideal of being a good father the chances for him to honor kill would be lower.

I also believe it is not an act of love, but an act designed to avoid feeling shame that you, as a man, could not raise children that also lived up to your ideal of behaving honorably.

If you think that it is about the feeling of avoiding shame it has nothing to do with the ideals that Steve in the thread.
Point seven is about accepting failure.
People who act out of shame or out of fear aren't in sync with those ideals.

I think that #2 really is a point in which there are differences between men and woman.

Sure. Even if she murders her rapist, telling the police is reasonable.

I you say you value your relationship with your wife above all else you wouldn't tell the police against her will.
Choicing to tell the police means that you prefer that act above your relationsip with your wife. If you would tell the police and you think that loyality to your relationship is your highest value that is what Steve considers dishonest.

Otherwise it depends on your values on whether killing a rapist is a right or wrong act. While I don't think it is right I can imagine scenarios in which other values than loyality would make me want to protect my wife.
I might for example want to protect a whistleblower even if that person has killed, because I value the advantage that the public gets from an esposed big scandel above the value of a life.

If someone who wishes her harm comes to you looking for her, and you know where she is, are you going to tell them because you value honesty more than your relationship with your wife?

In general I wouldn't tell a person who looks to harm another where the person he wants to harm is regardles of whether the person he wants to harm is my wife or a stranger.
It would be my value to protect my wife that motivates that action but the value of preventing harm.