[robc]

If you love/like yourself, you have a friend for life.

That's part of it right there.

Part of forgiving other people involves forgiving ourselves for having these feelings. You're probably experiencing inner conflict, you know she didn't die on purpose but you're still angry at her that she did die but also you might be feeling angry at yourself for feeling this way too.

Forgive yourself first, it's ok to feel the way you did, you felt cheated, you deserved to have your mom live with you for much longer than you did. You were shortchanged and it wasn't fair and it probably feels like it was done personally against you and on purpose, it happened at a young age so those opinions were formed at that age and have maintained the same idea since then.

Losing a loved one is extremely difficult and sometimes young children might believe it was done to punish them for some reason.

I agree with speaking to someone, a counsellor, therapist, psychiatrist, etc.

Get a fresh viewpoint on all of this.

Forgive yourself for having these feelings, you deserved better and didn't get it and you're angry with yourself, at such a young age you might have even thought that you did something to contribute to this. You didn't do anything to make this happen, you had to survive through this event and deal with it on your own and that's extremely difficult for adults to handle let alone young children.

Once you forgive yourself and stop being angry with yourself, you will be able to forgive others and stop being angry with them.