Quote:
Originally Posted by Angela  That's exactly it. YOU are interested in change and growth, and your choices are perfect for you. And it sounds like you're also interested in change and growth for your parents -- that's the part that's arrogant. Your parents' change and growth is up to them, not you. Your business is your change and growth.
The difference with your Seduction Buddies is that they are seeking, but you are committed to inflicting an awareness on your parents that they are not asking for.
Unsolicited advice is 100% about YOU and 0% about them. I know you want to help your parents, and I acknowledge you for that. |
Yes, you are right about the difference regarding the seduction buddies. But what if someone does not seek because they are
sure there is no other way: like " you are the way you are born, and there is nothing you can do about it" ? There are people who literally told me this. And they are not alway s happy about it.
Both you and aspiring_to_clarity are right that it is not my business to change my parents or shape them according to my new values. And I realise from your honest responses to my posts there is a fine line between wanting to help and arrogance or covert resentment, I will need to closely watch. But I guess there is also a fine line between minding your own business and becoming self-centered.
Living by example is very good advice. However, in my experience especially old friends or family tend to not always see the changes you made. There are some friends who really treat me like they did 10 years ago referring to aspects of my personality long gone. They kind of have "memorised" you in a certain way and do not always reassess you. While new people I meet react to the "present" me. Does this make sense? This is especially true if you see old friends or family just occasionally per year.