[StarieEyed]

I feel myself being so hatefull lately and I hate it. I KNOW naturally when I was younger I had so much empathy, so much that I WOULD cry for other ppl and sometimes still feel that way but for some reason, I think being hurt or betrayed in the past I think negitivly about most ppl now. Like I want to donate money for Christmas to a family in need, you know one of those programs, but then when I think of who the family may be, I think they are probably better off than I am (a single mom living with my parents) so why should I donate to them, or they probably do have enough money but spent it on other stuff. The only place I can get myself to donate to is my church and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. I tell my self that no matter what sick children always deserve better and my money. (the little that I have) but WHY WHY WHY can't I feel the same about the poor children at Christmas???? Its like I got stuck stereo typing somewhere years ago and I don't know how to stop. The nastyness of everyone I think about is popping out at me lately, even people I dont know and it want it to end so badly. I think I got some of it from my parents too and I dont want to pass it to my daughter.

Please someone help. I still know I am a good person and do help strangers even, so IN PERON, Ok I just had some sort of "ah hah" moment. IN PERSON I see the good but in my MIND when I think of ppl I see only bad.

Any insight on this anyone? Please.